Surgery.

Y'all, I had my gallbladder removed in early December. It hurt.  For real.

After being in constant pain for two straight weeks, I went to my PCP who said "hey, you have gallstones. Go to the surgeon" and then scheduled an appointment with Mr Surgeon who said "hey, we are gonna rip this sucker out tomorrow". So we scheduled the laparoscopic surgery, and then I started to panic.

I went to the hospital the next morning and had my gallbladder out.  The pre-surgery drugs were awesome... I was in the pre surgery area waving at everyone and smiling and saying "Hey y'all!"  I swear, I sounded like a cracked out Britney Spears, you know, back when she was pretending to be British and was all crazy and fun to watch... The last thing I remember before surgery was hearing a Norah Jones song playing and thinking "I really like this song..." (note, I am not a Norah Jones fan... At all...) and sweetly drifting off to sleep.

Then I woke up.

Oh. Holy. Hell. I remember waking up in the recovery area and saying/screaming to the nurse "WHY DID HE CUT ME OPEN???!?" She calmly said "honey, he didn't" and then asked me what my pain level was. This is the part in the story that we all learned the hard way that morphine does not work for me at all. After two more doses of morphine and a dose of some magical pills, my pain was under control once again.

I came home and seriously slept for two days. It was amazing, and kinda weird.  It's an odd sensation to lose two whole days and not really know what day it is or what time of day it is.

I'm gonna lay some recently learned info on you guys.  Trying to stand up straight after you have had surgery where they pump your abdominal cavity up with oxygen, not unlike a Macy's Day Parade balloon, is the most painful thing I have ever done, but it only narrowly beats out trying to take a shower and not fall over while trying to wash your legs or feet. Bathing was out since I couldn't get my incisions wet, so showering became an extreme sport and created GIANT puddles all over the bathroom. Not. Awesome.  The first time I bent over at the waist after surgery, I got light headed, saw sparkles, and nearly fainted.

After two weeks, I went back to see Mr Surgeon. He said that it was no wonder that I was in serious pain all the time because I had over 100 stones that were blocking my bile duct, so my gallbladder wasn't functional anyway. Apparently my gallbladder was about the size of a man's fist and took him a long time to get out of my abdomen. At this point, I became very thankful for the amazing surgeon I had.  He had to make my removal incision twice the length that it was supposed to be to get it out laparoscopically instead of having to go old school and cut me completely open. Thank you Dr Marotti  for being awesome. :)

Now I am 2 months out from surgery and I can eat cheeseburgers again without thinking I may die, so I am going to call it a win.

Yay me for going to have the surgery, yay surgeon for being awesome and doing this surgery, but, most importantly, YAY FOR PAIN PILLS!!

Fresh start.

My old blog sucked. I am starting a new one.

This is it.

I will do better with this one... Probably.